Fire Bug

If all the whining, nagging and pleading fails, just burn the place down.

Seriously...I was just trying to help.  Usually, my problem is getting the fire started.

Here's a list of things I KNOW, but didn't DO.

1.  Don't burn when it hasn't rained in the last 10 days.
2.  Always have water nearby.
3.  Carry a phone.

This "control burn" quickly became out of control.

Being the control freak that I am, I just KNEW I could handle this.  But when my lungs started burning, I decided to call for backup.

These boots may be made for walkin', but they're also good for runnin' -- 

to the house -- to call our trusty rural fire department. 

Meet Charlie and Kenneth.

I was literally (yes, Emily, I said "literally") sick to my stomach.

Not to mention my face was burnt, my toes were burnt, I think the lining of my lungs is burnt.

My iced water tastes burnt.

I kept hearing my self mumble, "I'm so sorry.  My husband's gonna kill me.  I'm so sorry."

But look, honey, we saved your deer feeder!

That oughtta be worth somethin', right?