If all the whining, nagging and pleading fails, just burn the place down.
Seriously...I was just trying to help. Usually, my problem is getting the fire started.
Here's a list of things I KNOW, but didn't DO.
1. Don't burn when it hasn't rained in the last 10 days.
2. Always have water nearby.
3. Carry a phone.
This "control burn" quickly became out of control.
Being the control freak that I am, I just KNEW I could handle this. But when my lungs started burning, I decided to call for backup.
These boots may be made for walkin', but they're also good for runnin' --
to the house -- to call our trusty rural fire department.
Meet Charlie and Kenneth.
I was literally (yes, Emily, I said "literally") sick to my stomach.
Not to mention my face was burnt, my toes were burnt, I think the lining of my lungs is burnt.
My iced water tastes burnt.
I kept hearing my self mumble, "I'm so sorry. My husband's gonna kill me. I'm so sorry."
But look, honey, we saved your deer feeder!
That oughtta be worth somethin', right?