What Not to Wear

My husband, God love him, has no fashion sense whatsoever. Furthermore, he honestly and absolutely does not care. I have tried for 32 years to enlighten him on the Glamour Do's and Glamour Don'ts, but, bless his heart, he is totally oblivious. (In case you were wondering, if I add phrases like, "God love him" and "bless his heart" I can guiltlessly complain about his inadequacies.)

One of Neal's brothers brought a deer over last week to hang in our barn. Neal, the perpetual aid and helper, didn't think twice (or even once, I imagine) about changing clothes before manhandling this bloody carcass. The only piece of clothing he owns that has value in his eyes--a long-sleeved, white OU Sooner T-shirt--became literally "crimson & cream." In addition, his white tennis shoes were soaked in deer blood.


Now for the rest of the story....These were the shoes he chose to wear to the hospital when his Dad had surgery last Monday. Yes, you would think by now I would give him a thorough inspection before we walk out the door, but in my defense, it was 7:00 in the morning. Didn't even notice until we were in the Surgical Waiting Room. I obsessively eyed every medical staff member's sanitary paper footies they were wearing over their shoes, wanting desperately to ask if I could borrow--yea, even purchase--a pair of those coverups!

This is a typical pair of jeans that Neal will wear to church on a Wednesday night:

I will say something like, "Neal, those are stained and have a hole in them." To which he replies, "All my jeans have stains and holes." Which I assure you, is NOT true. I tell you, there is no hope for this man...bless his heart.