So as it turns out, shopping for the "prescribed" shoes wasn't NEARLY the fun I had it built up to be. Of course, when your feet are shaped like this:
you can ill afford to get picky. Little did I know that this would be a major pride-swallowing day....gulp!
Do orthotic shoes really have to be this ugly? Really???? I left the store feeling like I should be on my way to join the circus in my miniature-sized car.
Honestly...it was hard not to trip over the ginormous toes of these monstrosities.
My cute, stylish Underarmour shoes next to my new clod-hoppers.
And naturally, I can't wear athletic shoes with every ensemble in my closet so I had to search for at least one pair of dress shoes.
Oh yeah. These are much more practical than...
say, my favorite "biker boots."
And you won't likely see me sporting these gems this summer:
After such a humiliating experience, I thought I deserved a QT frozen cappuccino. On second thought, if there's anything worse than a 50+ year old woman in orthotics, it's a CHUBBY 50+ year old woman in orthotics. No cappuccino for this clown.
I don't know why I'm so upset about this. Do I think the paparazzi is going to catch me in my orthotics and splash my picture all over People Magazine on the "worst dressed list?" Is my fear that my friends will shun me...."we would invite Lita, but she'll probably be wearing those grotesque shoes..."
Oh, I want so badly to have more substance than that. To not care what other people think. To prioritize what's best for my body over being in vogue. Oh Lord, give me strength!
Maybe I'm just concerned that when I return to the doctor, she'll say, "well that didn't work, guess it's time for surgery." And I'll have spent $300 on shoes and inserts and 2 months walking around looking like Ronald McDonald.
Until then, when you see me....keep your eyes up. Please.
9 comments:
That's the funniest blog you've ever written. LOL! Seriously!
If I only had half my mouth deadened, I'd feel like I'm on a Seinfield episode! Are you kidding me?????
If it's any consolation the tennis shoes look completely normal to me!
yes I am in agreement, that is a funny blog and those don't look like orthopedic shoes but if you wear them with a skirt or dress they may look a little freaky but hey I am a little shallow...so don't listen to me.
LOL. I loved this one, sis.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!! This is great! I'm feeling it for you. Tell me about your farm. And those precious children!! Where has the time gone. Our dash is getting shorter isn't it. Your never far from my thoughts.
A new type of blog post...online shoe collections. I'll have to post mine one day too. No ortho shoes but I probably could use some : )
I'm still confused on which ones are the ortho shoes??? :(
Hey, you could add a denim skirt to those Nike's and wear your hair up in a bun, PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!
OK, just kidding, as I too am a wearer of the clods
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