As I was filling up my car this morning at QT, I heard yelling behind me. The woman at the pump was screaming angrily at the top of her lungs , "Shut the **** up! I'm sick of your ****! I hate you!" In the front passenger seat sat a little, blond-haired girl, I'd guess about 7 or 8 years old. The woman had to be in her 60's at least, so presumably her grandmother or maybe even great-grandmother. It was 10:30 a.m., so I don't know why the girl was not in school. Or some other safe place. My gut twisted into a gigantic knot. I wanted to scoop the little girl out of the car and take her with me. But I didn't do anything. Didn't say anything. I just got in my car, drove off, and cried. If she was physically beating the girl, would I have intervened? I'd like to think so. But the verbal abuse was just as bad. Why didn't I do anything? Truthfully, I was a little scared of the woman myself. But I'm a grown-up. I think I could've taken her. The rest of the day, I couldn't get the little blond-haired girl out of my mind. What's she doing right now? How's the rest of her day going? Does she have to hear this every day? I spent the afternoon at the mall and more than once broke down in tears for my lack of courage to stand up for her. I tried to tell Neal about it at supper, but couldn't get through it without weeping.
So my question is this. If you had been at QT this morning, what would you have done?
9 comments:
Probably the same thing you did. Sorry, but that is a hard thing to do. I am sorry you are sad. Hang in there.
Same as you. I think we hear of the crazy things people do (road rage, etc.) we are scared we will die for stepping in. Could you have taken her license plate no. and call her in? I wouldn't know what to do but it would have made me cry, too.
Janet
After taking the classes through DHS for fostering I think I probably would have just taken her license plate and called it in to DHS so they could do an investigation. I also don't think I would have physically stepped in and done something for fear of my own safety and the safety of the child involved. You never know what that grandma/great grandma would have done in private after acting that way in a public place! It makes me so sad to see that children are mistreated like that every day!
Ditto what my daughter said! We had a teacher in our DHS foster parenting classes who said she goes up to people and tells them she is calling the police or DHS on them, but I don't think I'd have the guts to tell them. I'd just get their license number and call it in or if in a store, find the security and report it.
Unfortunately there are times when we have to rely on hope and prayer. Hopefully, things will turn around for this child and others like her. Don't you wonder though if the (grand)mother has the audacity to speak like that in public she knows the likelihood of someone stopping her is very low. Prayerfully, people who are as angry as that woman was need help but won't seek it out. So I agree, with the "getting the tag" comment. She has to be stopped, at least by the system. That child must be protected.
One reason we don't step in is because we don't know what to say.
I challenge everyone reading this to think RIGHT NOW what you would say, so that when it happens to you or me, we will be prepared to say something. Not necessarily threatening or accusatory; but something to show you care and are concerned.
That breaks my heart! I'm sure I wouldn't have done anything either. That's a really good idea to get their tag and turn them in. Thanks for sharing. I know now if I see something like this what I can do.
This breaks my heart too. Hopefully you are finding comfort through prayer. Would it be strange to pray for another opportunity to act? Perhaps God could be using this incident to prepare your heart for a moment that He'll use you in the future. Thanks for sharing. This motivates me to find courage to act if I do ever find myself in the same situation.
I know that QT is listed as a Tulsa Kids Safe Place and that if there were abuse in the car maybe ask to speak with a manager or security and let them know of the situation. Calling the DHS is a great idea. Confronting the person is a huge risk and can be very dangerous, not for you. Sometimes, the accused will blame the victim for the intrusion of an outsider and take more drastic measures on the victim.
Take time to pray and find that place in God that gives you peace.
Love always.
Caren
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